scary times....

I don't know exactly where to start this....We have been trying to get pregnant for a few months now, but with no luck. Then last month I thought I might be because I was a few days late, but when I took a pregnancy test is was negative. So, I was just waiting to start and I did a few days later. It wasn't a normal cycle, but I didn't think much of it. That was on Friday. Then on Wednesday morning, while I was at the grocery store, I started cramping really bad. I finished up and then picked Annie up from art class and picked up a few other friends to bring home to play. At first I just laid down because when I got up, I felt worse. After a while I was able to get around a bit. I had to get the house cleaned up because we had someone coming to look at it that night. My friend Jordan came to pick up her kids and for whatever reason I ended up telling her the story of how I was late and then had a light period and then the cramping...she told me I should call my doctor because it might be an ectopic pregnancy. Apparently, these can be life threatening because when I called the doctor's office, they told me to keep track of the pain and if it continued to get worse and I started to get shoulder pain, then I needed to go to the ER right away. It was a matter of life and death. Then she told me to take another pregnancy test in the morning. Kurt came home early and finished up the vacuuming and such and then we took the family to CiCi's Pizza. During this time the pain would come and go, and if I sat still or laid down I didn't seem to feel so bad. That night I was up almost every hour just making sure I was doing ok. Then at about 5 in the morning I started to get painful cramping again, so got up and took a pregnancy test. It was positive, which then made me call the doctor. I talked to the doctor on call and told her everything...she didn't seem to think it was ectopic and that she would wait until the office opened and then make an appointment. So at 8 I called and they said I needed to come right away to make sure everything was ok. I saw a midwife who checked me out and didn't seem to find anything out of the ordinary, but sent me to get an ultrasound just to check things our more thoroughly. I still had a lot of tenderness in my lower abdomen on down. During the ultrasound the tech didn't say much, expect they have a radiologist that reads the pictures right away and then they call the doctor to come go over the results with me. I got changed and was a little bummed...I figured I was miscarrying and that is why the tech didn't show me a heartbeat or anything. Man, was I in for a big surprise. The midwife came into the room and asked me to get back up on the bed and to not move. They had an ambulance on the way to take me to Vanderbilt for emergency surgery. I had an ectopic pregnancy that had ruptured through the fallopian tube and was actively bleeding. At this point I started to cry a little...I called Kurt and told him to meet me at the ER and to call my mom and Jordan (she had the girls). We got to the hospital and then the doctor came and explained to me what was going to happen. They kept saying I was doing incredibly well for the situation and that I looked great. I really wasn't in any pain, so I felt good. Before the surgery Kurt and Kyle Baker came and gave me a blessing. Kurt had given me a blessing of comfort that morning and I felt really good about everything. In fact, one of the doctors asked if she could say a prayer with me....it was nice. I love living here and how spiritual everyone is. Everyone was great at the hospital...they couldn't have been any nicer. The surgery went better than expected, I think. They were looking everywhere for a ruptured fallopian tube and couldn't find one...crazy!! There was a lot of blood in my abdomen that they think was from an ovarian cyst that burst and that is what was causing all my pain. They found a blood clot in the tube, but no active bleeding at all. Everything was in tact. They gave me three possibilities....I had an ectopic pregnancy that took care of itself, I am miscarrying or a slight chance that I still have a viable pregnancy. I don't think that the last one is the case, but who knows. I go in on Monday for a blood test to confirm one way or the other. They are also sending the clot to the lab to see if maybe there was pregnancy tissue in it. It all happened so fast, it's surreal. The one thing I do know for sure is that the power of the priesthood is amazing. I really feel like I experienced a miracle with there being no damage on my tubes. I am so grateful for the gospel and for such great friends who I know I can count on for anything. Holly went and got our van at the doctor's office and then picked up the girls and put them to bed at her house. Kurt and I got home around 10ish. So far, i am feeling great. My mom flew out the next afternoon to help and I am so glad she is here. I don't have to worry about anything. Kurt has also been great! He kept the girls out the house for me on Friday. I think that's why I'm feeling so well. I haven't had to do anything for the last couple of days. I've only had to take 2 pain killers too, so the recovery has been amazing so far. I hope it continues this way! I also really feel like I owe my life to my friend Jordan who I feel like was inspired to tell me about ectopic pregnancies. I would have never ever called the doctor about it. It had never even crossed my mind that I may be pregnant. I feel so blessed!! I am also so grateful for the power of prayer. Immediately after Kurt called my mom, her and my grandpa got on their knees. And then my mom called everyone in my family and Kurt's mom called all his siblings, so I know I had a ton of prayers going up on my behalf. The gospel is amazing and the power that is so readily available to us.

On Monday I went and got a blood test (7/20) and my Beta levels are down, which means I am not pregnant...probably for the best considering all the trauma that's gone on in that area. I have to go back for another blood test next week and then another one a month later. I have to have two tests where my levels are at 0 for the doctor to feel comfortable with the situation.

I also had my post op appointment today (7/23) and everything looks good. Dr. Lockshaw says we need to wait three cycles (months) until we should get pregnant again. I can't remember the exact reasoning, but I'm sure it's for the best. It's a little disheartening to Kurt and I since we didn't want our kids too far apart. Now, we'll have to wait until we get to Colorado to get pregnant, otherwise we'll be paying out the nose for insurance with COBRA. I can't get insurance in CO if I'm pregnant, since it's a preexisting condition. So, now Madelyn and the next will be at least 4 years if not more apart. I know the Lord has a plan for our lives and we can't always see the reasoning behind it until much later. So, for now I'm just going to trust in Him and know that this is what is best for our family. Someday, but maybe never, I'll understand why this happened the way it did and the timing of all of it!

Colorado here we come....

So, Kurt still isn't done until February but he just signed a letter of intent for a practice in Littleton that we are going to buy! We are so excited!!! It's just a real small starter practice about 1100 square feet-4 chairs . The guy is 70 years old...super nice and is just ready to retire. He loved Kurt and really wanted him to buy it, so it feels like a good fit. Kurt put a start date as March 8th and the guy is going to stick around for 2-3 months for free to get everything adjusted and going well. Right now the office is only open 3 1/2 days a week and is insurance based only, so we feel like there's a ton of room to grow with it. Kurt's got to put on his schmoozing moves for the dentists when we get there. We also know an oral surgeon (good family friend) there who said he'll take Kurt and all of his general dentist friends out for lunch to introduce him to them. We can't wait to get out there and get moving...so much to do.

Italy

4 days after we got home from California I took off on a trip with my mom to Italy. However, it was not the typical Italian trip. We were in a small small village called Sinio...it is about 2 hours south west of Milan and about an hour south of Torino. The area is called Piemonte and they are known for their hazelnuts and wine. They are a bunch of small villages all set on these ridges with hills/vineyards in between. My dad's cousin Denise has been in Italy for 7 years. Her dad, Hank, is Italian and that's what compelled her to go there. He is also the same guy who married Kurt and I in the temple. Anyway, she bought the castle in this town. All of the small towns have these castles on top of a hill. I am assuming they are the old fortress castle used to protect the village. She renovated it and made it into a hotel with about 20 rooms. It is gorgeous. She also does cooking classes there, which is one of the main reasons we went. We went with my Aunt Gloria, her two girls, Katie and Susan, and then 3 other people who we had never met before, but were great-Anne, Jan and Kendra. We did four nights of cooking classes that were amazing. I have yet to make any of them, but am planning to soon. It's just a lot more time than I'm used to for dinner. We also learned how to make home made pasta and it is to die for. Store bought pasta just does not do it for me anymore. The desserts were incredible too, especially this molten chocolate cake...we had that twice!! I was so impressed with myself too because I tried this typical dish, which I can't remember the name, but it was raw meat sprinkled with dark truffles (mushroomish thing) and truffle oil. All three pasta dishes were my favorite! Other than cooking classes which was my favorite part we drove around the country side, which was beautiful...rolling hills of vineyards everywhere. The pictures just don't capture the beauty at all. We also took an adventure to a port town called Portifino. It was beautiful, with houses built on the cliffs and the water was so blue. We took a little boat ride and the driver accidentally soaked my cousin Katie. The drivers are crazy in Italy...I was the navigator and I'm not sure who was more tense, me or my mom who was driving. There were these small windy roads that were barely big enough for two cars and then you'd have buses on them and people walking on the sides. If you stayed in the "fast" lane cars would come up as fast as possible and ride your bumper until you got over. And the signs were ridiculous. They would tell you the starting point of the freeway and the ending point, but nothing in between until you were right at the exit, so we had a few quick exits off the freeway, but never got lost. I was quite impressed with myself and my mom and Aunt Gloria (the other driver). We also made a trip to Torino, but the roads weren't quite as bad. We took a few other excursions to see a cheese making place, a grainery and a chocolate factory. They were all such small scaled operations. So different than what we see in the United States. Most of them didn't speak English where we were (not touristy at all) so we would just nod our heads when they spoke like we understood, but really had not clue. It was quite comical. It was cool though because the Chocolate factory we went to is the place the exclusively supplies it's nougat (hard and soft) to William Sonoma.
One other interesting experience we had was a "walk" through the vineyards. Katie had asked about doing this and Denise said there was this one that was the best and took about 45 minutes....well, we were a little misled. First off, there were no signs leading to where we needed to go. We didn't bring any water, even though my mom told us to. We had envisioned a "walk" through these beautiful vineyards, however, this was not the case. We were all in flip flops climbing these soft dirt hills. We were in the vineyard for about 15 minutes of the 2 hour hike. It was crazy and Susan and I couldn't help but laugh. Aunt Gloria was waiting on us where we were suppose to end up. The trail ended on the outskirts of town, so in the end we were walking on the main road. I had said a prayer on the way to ask Heavenly Father to let Gloria know that we were coming and to just wait and not go back to the starting point, which was our original plan. And when we walked into this little plaza area, there she was. She had run into someone who spoke English and knew the trail we were taking and said it would take close to 2 hours, so Gloria waited and she had just shown these people our pictures so they would know who we were. We were suppose to call her when we got there. There were plenty of places for us to make wrong turns, but I feel like we were really led the right way and back to Aunt Gloria safely. It was an amazing trip and so much fun to be with my mom. I have such wonderful friends too who were so willing to watch my girls, so I could go.

Family trip to Cali

After the dance recital the rest of us took off on our way to California. The girls were great on the plane and Annie was so excited to see us. She called me like 10 times that day to ask me different questions like "Do you think Alyse will like skittles or yellow chapstick and what about Madelyn." "Should we do a treasure hunt for the girls. I could make a map for the morning when they wake up." "Can I wait up for you guys?" and various other questions. She was so cute. The girls were so excited to see her too and be at grandpa and grandma's house. I always love going home, of course! I get well taken care of and so does my family. This trip was no different. I got my hair cut with highlights for summer. And all the girls got their haircut also. Only Annie, though, did anything different. The others just got a trim, but they all did great at holding still for Marty. I also got some waxing done and a pedicure. We went to El Rosal (my favorite Mexican place) twice and Annie was not happy. Apparently they had been there a few times the week before so she said, "Why do we always have to come here for lunch?" I however LOVED it! We haven't found any mexican food that we love here, but we haven't tried too hard either. We went golfing twice and the second time was a blast. My brother, Michael and his wife Kirsten came up for the weekend and we played scrambles with them and my parents....who won? We did!!!! Granted I can only use my 7 and 9 iron and have to tee up on the green, but no big deal...it's only like the 10th time I've ever played! We also played tennis most mornings and then we played a small little doubles thingy with everyone and Kurt and I beat my parents and Michael and Kirsten. We played first one to three, so nothing too big. Annie and Alyse also wanted to stay and watch every morning instead of going into the child care, so Annie got a few turns at hitting the ball. The weather was great there, not too hot like it normally is when we go later on in the summer. We went swimming and even got to go on a double date with Michael and Kirsten, which was wonderful. I am so glad they came up and we got to hang out with them....hopefully it won't be too much longer until we're actually living in the same state! The girls also got to do pottery painting again and they loved it...now we're just waiting to get them from grandma :)

Dance Recital

Alyse has been doing dance all year and has mostly loved it. Although, when I've watched her and not been talking to Jordan, I'm not sure what it is that she's doing. She doesn't seem to follow the teacher so well and acts a little silly. In fact, often times Madelyn would join the class and follow better than her. They didn't start working on her dances for the recital until Februaryish, I think. So, I was a little worried. At home, I would ask Alyse if she would show me her dance and she'd look at me like I was crazy and say, "I don't know it." Not even one little part. And when I'd ask Jessica, her teacher, about it, she'd say, "oh, I'm not worried about this age. That's what's so cute about it...they just mess up or pick their noses or play with their outfit." I wasn't so sure about that, since I'd been paying 50 bucks a month for all this! Then the dress rehearsal was as I expected...Alyse knew next to nothing and would put her tutu over her head or around her neck or look lost in lala land. Although it was pretty cute! However, the night of the recital was different. Not that she actually knew her dance very well, but she did a great job of trying to follow the teacher and her friends on stage and we had no costume mishaps! At the end of the performance they handed out trophies to the girls and Alyse was sooo excited. Now she had a trophy of her very own, just like Annie!! Kurt, Madelyn and I were so proud of her! She looked adorable up on stage and did such a great job...